I am going to be 40 years old this year. Twenty was fun, 30 was exponentially better. I’m not so sure I want to be 40. If I have to be 40, I want to be fit and fabulous too. Those are the words of my friend Alyson. I’m not sure when she will be 40, but she is planning ahead like I wish I would have done. She has the discipline to actually get on her treadmill every day and she looks like it. Now she’s going to start resistance training. I am looking to her for inspiration.

Last summer at the pool, I noticed some cellulite that I never had noticed before. This put me into a bit of an anxiety state. Mental health problems are one of my specialties and body image is no exception. I joined Weight Watchers, and although no one said anything, I felt like I needed to make excuses about why I was there. I’m 5′3″ and 125 lbs. With a BMI of 22, I do not have a weight problem. My brain knows this, but it doesn’t make me feel any better when I see the cottage cheese on my legs. Thanks, mom.

So, I started going to Zumba classes. I loved Zumba. I was going to classes twice a week and swimming with the kids twice a week. I was really happy with my progress and proud of myself for getting into a routine. It was going really well and then I learned that I had a hernia and I had to have surgery. I knew that since the boy was born my belly button had popped out, but I never really internalized the idea that it would have to be repaired, but because my intestines started to mushroom out into my abdominal cavity, and I had to get it done. All of my hard work went down the drain.

It was an easy recovery, I didn’t have much pain. Two days later I was out picnicking with my family, but I lost my momentum (ironically this is the new Weight Watchers buzzword). I stopped exercising routinely and I stopped going to the WW meetings.

My son is four. He has a September birthday, so he isn’t quite old enough for Junior Kindergarten, but I kid you not, he is a very smart boy (I’m pretty sure it’s from his maternal gene pool). Even though I do not work full time, the boy is in school all day every day. He loves it and he needs it. Some parents put their children in day care and feel guilty about it. I would feel guilty keeping him at home. He truly enjoys playing with the other kids. They spend as much time as they can on the playground. He is learning skills that he could never learn being home with me. So, now that he is in school full time, its time for me to take the leap.

I’ve been a Registered Nurse since 1992. I have always loved my work. Most of my experience has been in the hospital, but I’ve also worked in home care, long term care, and in durable medical equipment sales. Working in the hospital has been the most lucrative, so that’s where I’ve gotten most of my experience. It’s also the most intense environment. My best days at work are when I am constantly moving and constantly thinking. I have done mostly float pool and agency work. I really would get bored working in the same place, with the same people, day after day. I need the diversity of clientele and experiences in order to keep myself organized and on top of things.

I’ve always known that I would go to graduate school to become a family nurse practitioner.  I’ve tossed the idea around seriously for the past several years. After being a nurse for 16 years, I’ve decided its time to go back. I chose a school several years ago. I went to the graduate school information session twice. Part of the admission process was to write an essay. It took me five years to be able to sit down and do it. One morning at four AM, the ideas all came together in my brain and I got out of bed and wrote the essay. In the fall of 2008, I started my first semester of graduate school.

So far I have really enjoyed graduate school. I found a local university which is a door to door 15 minute commute and I do believe that it is the best program for my needs. I’ve gotten awesome grades but unfortunately life again took a different turn; just a detour, not a crash. If you’re interested in the story I’ll write more tomorrow. For now, my house and my children need my attention.